The following was an interview that Gordo Byrn (aka. the g man, g) had with himself and I used it as a basis for my own performance assessment.
So, you've got this big race coming up?
Yep
How long have you been training for it?
About 5 months ... it's the peak of my season.
How do you think it's going to go?
Well ... I am a little nervous.
What are you nervous about?
Quitting.
You never quit. Why should that scare you?
Well ... every time you do one of these things your body, your mind, your soul ... they all tempt you to quit... beg you to quit. You can finish and still quit. That's the toughest kind of quitting because only you know you folded.
What do you mean?
Remember that race in Australia? I really wanted to quit ... very badly ... but I hung in. That's winning. Sometimes those races get you right to the edge, the cusp of quitting. I'm just worried that one of these times I'm going to quit. I'll still finish. I may even set a PB but I will have folded. It terrifies me. It drives me. It stalks me.
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Hmmm ... so that's what happened in 2004 ... and again in 2008. In '04 I folded because I knew I had it in the bag ... why suffer when you can back off and still finish, still set a PB. No wonder I got so annoyed at the spectators calling out my name and cheering me on ... I was embarrassed and ashamed. It's about putting it out there and I was holding back.
In 2008 I lost focus on the run. It had been a fast swim (for me) and I eased off in T1 and on the bike as well. It had turned into a miserable wet day on the bike course and by the time I got to T2 time was running out. The clock had ticked over 8 hours when I exited T2 and I felt myself give up then. I ran all of the run course, not like '04, but I wasn't focused on what I needed to do to 'get it done' and that's quitting. I could never be satisfied with either of those efforts even though they were both PB's.
This year I didn't quit. A slow swim, 2 punctures, the weather ... none of it was going to be an excuse. I wasn't going to quit and this time I didn't. The finishing time, the PB, the numbers ... all of it mattered less than the fact that I never folded. So ... 5 races, bookended by efforts I could be proud of.
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I spend a lot of time thinking about how to have my best race, my best preparation, my best shot. I've had to adapt a lot as I've learned how to approach our sport. One of the reasons why people stagnate is an inability to change their approach.
Champions Endure The Discomfort Of Change.
Rock on,
g
Ahh ... the g man! One of the things I'm missing about IM training is how I immersed myself in 'g world' as a way of making sense of what I was doing. It's a world of hard work, sweat and sacrifice ... and infinite possibilities ... what a place! Even though I'm training for New York I'm really just going through the motions ... truth is I left g world months ago. I hope to return one day.
